The Pauper: Chapter 6: Friendship
Know which category each of your friends belong to. It's critical.
Since a pauper possesses little to nothing, one would think it is easy for him to discern wheat from chaff; the logic is that if a man has nothing, then his friends are there on “pure” intentions.
It’s an overly simplistic assumption. “Pure” doesn't necessarily mean good or healthy. Even if one doesn't fathom extracting from you, it doesn't mean they fathom giving to you. It can still be a toxic relationship, and they can still be open to extracting from you in the future.
Ill-intent can be dormant until the “right” circumstance presents itself.
There are multiple factors on why paupers have friends.
One, it may be that they are childhood friends, or just simply bonded by common experiences; in this sense, there is a strong attachment. It doesn't necessarily signal a good relationship, because it depends on the foundational ethics which guide such a friendship.
Two, it may be that they find themselves in a similar adverse predicament, and provide encouragement to each other.
Three, it may be that they indulge in the same vices together (which is a recurrent theme).
Four, it may be that misery simply loves company, as we are drawn to those with similar grievances.
With this there are three (3) categories which friendships always fall into:
Genuine. Those involved actively seek the good of each other, or at the least avoid each other’s harm. They demonstrate a good deal of vulnerability towards one another. It doesn't necessarily mean they are the best of friends. But there is strong level of trust, respect, and confidence.
Surface. Pleasantries are often exchanged. Can be based on shared experiences (work, hobbies, private life). There are minor moments of vulnerability, and acts of goodwill. They typically do not survive the test of conflict. And if they do, the relationships typically degrade if contact is kept. This is where most friendships should be truly categorized; most are born and die in this category.
Convenience. Those involved can greatly benefit each other materially. They often have more economic benefit than a ‘genuine’ friendship may be able to offer. Professional partnerships are an example out of many. This is the main category of friendship for the elite.
Since adversities are abundant for him, the pauper should not only dread them, but also allow them to help him truly categorize his friends. Adversity often exposes the nature of a friendship.
And if you wrongly categorize a friend into a more favorable box, you may be more given to grant him resources. Which may be a waste, if the sentiment is not mutual and you are not aware. Now, if you are aware, and grant resources anyway for whatever reason, that’s your prerogative.
You have to be discerning. Know whose counsel seeks your good, and whose counsel seeks to abate your march of material and spiritual progress.
There is that friend that wishes for you to stay, not because he loves you, but because he envies the prospect of your progress. Staying close to him ensures that your advancement is limited.
Unfortunately, many wives often do this in secret to their husbands. Sometimes your biggest hater (or even doubter) is in your own home. Here’s your red pill.
The word “friendship” is loosely used. However, in the back of your mind, you should be assessing your friends periodically.
By shifting and intentionally recategorizing, you make your life dynamic. You leave lots of room for more beneficial connections.
Each category of friendship has its uses in its proper time. Therefore, I'm not saying you should ONLY seek genuine friendships. That’s a bad strategy if you’re looking to accomplish your goals.
At the least, be aware which category they have likely placed you in.
So that in times of adversity, you are not shocked by the ones who turn their backs on you. And there will be many.
Find my work here on Substack. Don’t forget to follow, so that you never miss a new article when it comes out. In short, I despise the Elite, along with the cultural stagnation, academic conformity, economic chaos, and social decay that they create or facilitate. I aspire to empower and equip the common man with the perspective and mindset to wrest back ownership of his life.